Aging with Grace, Power, and Purpose
Boys, take a seat. Ladies, this one is for you. I write for my ladies. Today, I want to talk about the A-word: Aging. Let’s discuss embracing the midlife years.
Embracing Midlife Years
What is it about men that makes them dignified, dapper, and still attractive as they get older? Why are women not seen the same way? For example, last week I turned 52. I have wrinkles, crepey skin, sun spots, and the greys (or as I like to call them, tinsel) are growing in. I’m aging. And it’s natural. I’m supposed to be aging. My body is doing what it’s designed to do. All of our bodies are doing it from the second we are born.
In fact, we are all aging. We were all designed to age. Read this article here to understand one of the key components to aging.
Generally, this wouldn’t be a big deal if society treated women the same as men who are also aging. But society doesn’t. People see men in their 50s and beyond as wise. If a man manages to “snag” a younger woman, society applauds him. On the other hand, people tease women for their signs and symptoms of aging and refer to them as a predatory animal if they date someone even a year younger than they are.It’s not uncommon to hear a midlife woman describe herself as being “invisible” now. And that’s the worst.
Because it’s true. I’m not the only one who thinks this.
How Women Feel About Aging
Given these points, a study of 158 50- to 89-year-old women living in the United Kingdom found 84 percent of women agreed with the statement, “Women become less visible when they are older.” (Journal of Women & Aging)
The study goes on to say:
“The respondents’ narratives regarding the loss of visibility cohered around five main themes: (a) being under-seen/mis-seen in the media;
(b) being mis-seen as objects of sexual undesirability;
(c) being “ignored” in consumer, social and public spaces;
(d) being “grandmotherized,” that is, seen only through the lens of (often incorrectly) presumed grandmotherhood; and
(e) being patronized and erroneously assumed to be incompetent.”
The Media’s Role
The most glaring way midlife women experience this invisibility is in the media and advertising. Women in the midlife years statistically have the largest amount of disposable income. We have the money to spend. The kids are long gone (and sometimes the husband, too). We are in our chosen careers and have all of our income for… ourselves.
Yet, marketers and advertisers don’t see us this way. They don’t see us at all.
Instead, companies would rather show us women decades younger than us. They choose beautiful, young models and actresses they’d either like to be or like to sleep with. These companies and marketers are making a statistically grave mistake. Comparitively, consider the following stats:
- 50+ American women are the healthiest, wealthiest and most active generation of women in history. (Source: Demographics by Mark Miller)
- Women 50+ control a net worth of $19 trillion. (Source: MassMutual Financial Group, 2007)
- Over the next decade, women will control two-thirds of consumer wealth in the United States and be the beneficiaries of the largest transference of wealth in our country’s history. Estimates range from $12 to $40 trillion. Many Boomer women will experience a double inheritance windfall, from both parents and husband. (Source: Fleishman-Hillard New York)
- Women 50+ spend, on average, 250% of what the population in general does. (Source: DMN3)
If the above is true, companies that primarily market themselves to younger generations and to men exclusively will find themselves losing the market share battle to those companies that see these statistics and act.
Therefore, it’s time for us to change the age-old mindset that middle-aged women are fiscally irrelevant. We are not invisible, nor irrelevant. Everyone ages. We are choosing to age better and gracefully. Beautifully. Proudly. Respectfully. Authentically. Let our generation be the first to take this stand and fight the graceful, goddess fight we were literally born to fight.
Embracing Our Power
We are the lucky ones. We are the generation that is realizing society’s grave misimpression of us. Embracing midlife years is achievable for us.
My hope and prayer to the Universe is that each and every woman approaching and in her middle life fully feels and recognizes her own power and authority. We have the chance to live the second half of our lives in wellness, mindfulness, competence, and courage. We have the ability to do whatever our heart’s desire and have earned the right to chase our dreams.
If you think about it, this is really our time. Are there things you’ve always wanted to do? Activities you’ve always wanted to try? Places you’ve always wanted to see? In fact, not only do you have the right and responsibility to your own soul to go for your dreams, I’d argue we all have the responsibility to live our dreams now to wake our society up in time for the next generation’s time. It’s our time and our duty to dream. Otherwise, nothing is going to change.
Advertisers will continue to see us as grandmotherly (if we are seen at all) if we don’t go after our dreams and passions. Companies will continue to be unaccommodating to us. The younger generations will continue to unsee us. Our employers will continue to dismiss our intellect, talents, and skills.
It’s not too late. We aren’t too old. We aren’t invisible.
